First Message

I read this girl’s dating profile and decided I was curious enough that it wouldn’t hurt to message her. So I did what I always do before my first message and tried to see if I could find her online. Searching for people online has saved me countless times at this point from messaging fake people. So many times I’ve seen a cute girl and image searched her photo only to find it’s been posted on Pinterest over a million times, meaning that this profile is most likely fake. Someone found a cute girl, made a fake profile, and is sitting there waiting to be messaged. I found nothing on this person, and this girl, while being cute, was not unrealistically attractive. She seemed like an ordinary cute girl.

It couldn’t hurt to message her so I did.



My name is Kevin. What career are you trying to break out in? Also, what church do you go to?

I’m never really sure what to start with, but just this week I opened up an Etsy store. I’ve been commissioned by a few people to do digital artwork of their pets, so I figured, why not sell it? Here’s an example.

I haven’t fully set up the store yet, but eventually there will be a place where people can commission me to do their pets as well. I already got a few jobs just from the friends who have hired me!

Anyways, that’s what’s new in my life. I hope you’re having a good day as well!



It’s hard to know how to start a conversation with a girl online. Yeah, I showed her my Etsy shop. It’s not the best first message but I wasn’t feeling all that inspired. Judge away.

Anyways, she responded with this two days later, at 4am, and had deleted her profile.


Hey there Kevin, how are you doing? I love what you do, it’s really nice. thanks anyway for the interest, may i ask what brings you here and why you’re interested in me? I’m looking for something serious and long term, not interested in games of any sort. if this is what you seek then get back to me on sarah.censored@gmail and tell me more about yourself. Looking forward to hearing from you.



Here email address didn’t have “censored” in it, you just don’t need to know her fake last name (in case this was a hacked email account…).

Anyways, the whole thing was strange, deleting her account, responding at such a weird time in the morning. Even some of it read weird. But it wasn’t unreasonable, plenty of people are not strong writers, and some people communicate much better in person than they do online. Also, the “I’m not looking for games” thing seems strange, but in reality, probably 1 in 3 girl’s profiles say “Not looking for a one-night stand.” which makes me think that there must be a ton of “quality” guys out there sending completely “appropriate” messages.

Find out about her Gmail account here: Second Message

One thought on “First Message

  1. Love this Kevin, I have received almost word for word 2 of these emails and am looking forward to having fun with it. Thank you for sharing what you did, it was hilarious!

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